Author Archives: admin

If you knew how many people approach me with a mild paranoia that someone may discover their grave doubts about Mormonism, you’d probably be relieved that you are not alone. From the outside, it is impressive – the hold the … Continue reading →

As if it weren’t hard enough transitioning your own life out of the LDS church, you may also have children in the mix. Great care and consideration need to be given to this matter, as there is much at stake, especially your precious parent-child relationship. Here are some thoughts to consider.

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Common Issues that face those that leave the LDS Church: Rejection by your parents, siblings and extended family Loss of your closest friends and entire social circle Fear of spending eternity in hell or outer darkness Self doubt – even …

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Go easy on yourself.  This is a time of transition. There will be ups and downs and “all-arounds”.  At times you may feel like going to extremes in your behavior or that you are “out of control” with rebellion.  Be patient with yourself. The pendulum will probably swing a little.  Be aware.

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You are married to someone whom you don’t love. In your heart of hearts, your most honest moments, you know you are fooling yourself and staying in the relationship in spite of being desperately unhappy. You may even entertain fantasies of being with someone else.

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The reluctance of humans to “transition” to new ways of being has to do with our basic evolutionary make up; we are creatures of habit. Consider how disruptive it would be to your life if you didn’t establish daily habits or take common knowledge for granted. It would be impossible to engage in the daily routines that make life as we know it possible. This is simply how we have evolved over the millennia. We have become enamored with the familiar and tend to resist change and movement toward the unfamiliar. Most people find that change is usually accompanied by some degree of stress.

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People are virtual belief machines. We make meaning out of just about everything we perceive. We can’t help it. The process is largely unconscious and automatic. We need to know what things mean in order to respond appropriately. If we didn’t know what a red light meant.

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Never did I imagine as a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that I would one day enjoy a happier and more successful life as a non-Mormon. For me, life is good – full of joy, warmth, success, wonder and fun. Life also presents its share of challenges and disappointments, anxieties and frustrations, but  on the whole, life as an ex-Mormon is fabulous. In fact, I can’t imagine returning to the confines of the religion, or ever believing in the doctrine again. It simply doesn’t make sense anymore. I am settled nicely into a new way of being and am grateful for the transition.

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Here’s the scene: You’ve lost your closest friends in the midst of not knowing what to believe about your existence. You’re feeling continually outraged at having the best years of your life stolen because of a philandering 19th century charlatan. At the same time, you actually feel worried that God may strike you down because of the cup of coffee you are drinking, or that you may suddenly encounter financial ruin because you stopped paying tithing, or that you may actually be a son of perdition and endure never ending torment!

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